I love you anyway

 "But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation." ~Psalms 13:5

"Do you believe this?"

Oof. That's a question that gets right to the core. Especially when being asked by the Son of God. 

I have to wonder what Martha was thinking in that moment, as she stared into the face of Jesus. To her family, especially her brother, it seems he was a friend. They called him The Teacher, according to the NIV. 

I'm no theologian, so I can't give all deeper meanings. Bear with me on that and maybe ask a pastor.

Instead, I'm a storyteller and I love getting into the perspectives of those I read about. My husband used to say one of the things he loved about the Bible was how we all could glean something a little different from the verses and any of us could read it, even if we weren't Biblical scholars.

And in this case, I feel I can understand Martha. She's often painted as the busy one, the one who spends too much time doing the stuff she thinks needs done, and rarely sits down. One look at my house would show I don't have this in common with her. 

But I can understand other parts of her. 

I've been reading this study which highlights a little more about Martha. When we meet her the first time, she is busying with the preparations, while her sister Mary is sitting at the feet of Jesus. She asks Jesus to intercede and send Mary to help, to which Jesus tells her that Mary is focusing on what's important, while Martha is not.

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed -- or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." ~Like 10:41-42

First off, I want to point out how unfair it is that we even go down this comparison route. And, yes, Martha does start it here. But think about it in your own life. How often do we compare what work we are doing to what we think others are not doing? Or compare what we have to what they have?

Perhaps Jesus is saying, "Don't compare to your sister. She's focusing on me, you should be focusing on me."

This study I'm doing points more to the idea that Martha was likely concerned for her sister breaking the societal norms. Women weren't expected to sit at the feet of the teachers, they were meant to be in the background, preparing the home for visitors. That is something that could make trouble for Mary and Martha.

Perhaps that's the point Jesus is making instead, "Who cares about what society is telling you? Care about what I am telling you."

I'm not sure. I think both parts are relevant. I suppose it could be both.

But today's point in the study is another day in the story of Martha. This is the time after the death of her brother Lazarus. They sent for Jesus when he was dying, but He took the long way back and didn't get there in time to save Lazarus. If you read the verses before, you know there's a point to this. Jesus said so to the disciples, but they didn't understand it.

Martha runs to meet him, to ask him why he didn't come sooner. It had been four days since Lazarus had died. She doesn't understand what took him so long.

But even in her confusion, she knows that God can work something with this, because she says, "But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask."

I wonder if she even knew why she said that. Did she think there was a chance he could be brought back? Was she asking for some other reason? 

When Jesus tries to tell her Lazarus will rise, she doesn't understand. She thinks he means in the last days, even saying so. But Jesus tells her HE is the resurrection.

Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?" ~John 11:17-44

 I wonder if this question caught her off-guard.

"Do you believe this?"

I certainly think it would stop most of us in our tracks. Not only the basic part of "do I actually believe this?" But also the, "why is He asking me this?"

Because I am guessing Jesus already knows the answer to the question. His purpose in this would be to make you really sure you know the answer to the question and not just the "church answer," as we used to say.

She answered Him assuredly, noting He was "the Messiah, the Son of God, who is come into the world." 

Then their conversation ends as she goes to find her sister. I can imagine she pondered this question as she walked. I wonder if she was distracted as she told Mary that Jesus wanted to see her. After His convo with Mary and the famous line, "Jesus wept," we head to the tomb.

I envision Martha quietly contemplating all of this. As fellow "busy woman," I can imagine her mind flipping that question over and over. 

"What did He really mean?"

"DO I believe?" 

"What do I believe?"

"What does all of that have to do with my brother dying?"

I don't know how long all this took or how far the walk was. I just imagine the thoughts were racing. They arrive at the tomb covered with a stone, she's still thinking, the crowd is gathered wondering what He's planning, and Jesus says, "take away the stone."

Martha's shocked. Move it? He's been in there for days -- it'll stink horribly! She questions Him. And Jesus responds.

Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?" ~John 11:40

There's that question again. Does she really believe what's He's been saying? Does she really believe in her heart these things He's been saying? 

Can she let go of what society has told her, what obligations tell her, what religious leaders say, what the politicians say, what life has engrained in her?

Can she believe this man who is called the Son of God?

The stone is rolled away. Jesus says a prayer, not because He needs it but because they do, and calls out for Lazarus.

I imagine her watching all this with nervous anticipation. Will she really see her brother again in this life? Can Jesus really do this? 

She's holding her breath. Is she expecting a smell or waiting for him to emerge?

Then Martha sees her brother. He's intact, he's whole, he's healthy. He walked out on his own, following the voice of their Lord.

In that moment, I think I'd hit the ground on my knees. I wonder if she did. I imagine tears streaming down. Joy and trepidation in the same instant bouncing around inside. Then a washing of full belief.

He really did it.

He brought Lazarus back from the dead.

And in that moment, I can imagine Martha drew no other conclusion. Jesus truly was "the Messiah, the Son of God, who is come into the world."