Showing posts from 2017

The wonder of children

Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man. ~Rabindranath Tagore
There’s a permanent art installation in our Boyle County Public Library as you enter the building’s rotunda. It’s of a bunch of colored glass “balloons,” called “Time Zippy,” created by the talented Stephen Rolfe Powell.

I love working in that area, because there’s a heater, a plug and it’s actually decently cozy for an entranceway. The other day, I was sitting there working as children came in. Several, actually, came through while I was there, walking in with their families. Each one seemed more amazed at the balloons than the one before.

I’ve no way of knowing how often those kids came into the library, but each looked at the glass balloons as if it were their first time seeing them.

Isn’t it amazing how kids are amazed by everything? I loved seeing their little eyes light up in awe as they saw all the colors hanging from the ceiling. Some would exclaim, “WOW!” or something similar as they…

Carrying life's garbage

“Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.”
~Psalm 51:10
This Saturday, I loaded up garbage at the house and headed to the dump. We don’t have regular pick up at the house and have to transport it the few miles out of town to the local convenience center a few times a month.

What I failed to connect in my brain was, it being Veteran’s Day, the convenience centers would be closed.

It was only after I got to the entrance and noticed the closed gates that I made that mental connection. That meant I had to turn around, take all of that garbage back home and unload it, to be hauled away another day.

First off, let me say, I understand the importance of celebrating Veteran’s Day. I’m the granddaughter of a veteran, the niece of other veterans and I have friends and other loved ones who are veterans. I don’t mean to negate the importance of that day at all. It just threw me off this year, as it was a Saturday and the first day I’ve not covered local Veteran’s Day even…

Thy will be done

“Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.” ~Matthew 6:10
“Thy will be done.”

There’s a lot of power in those words.

Throughout my life, I’ve heard that phrase. I’ve said that phrase. But, honestly, I’m not sure if I’ve really understood that phrase.

When we say, “Thy will be done,” do we truly mean it? I think in many cases “Thy will be done as long as it isn’t too hard, too painful or puts us too much out of our comfort zone,” is what we really mean.

Matthew 6:10 is probably one of the most well-known verses using “thy will be done.” It’s part of the Lord’s Prayer.

“Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.”~ Matthew 6:9-13 KJV
I remember, as a young girl, my grandmother had a …

The biggest failure

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." ~John 14:6

I mess up.
A lot.

I’m an imperfect being.

And I’m a major introvert with slight anxiety. That translates to mean, I don’t do well with confrontation or serious, firm talk. It usually ends in me (unsuccessfully) attempting to hold back tears.

It’s not that I’m a dramatic being. It’s just that something within me seems to literally fall apart and any self-control I have simply disappears.

And, in the case of confrontations, I tend to feel like I’ve let people down.

When I let people down, I feel like I failed them. Or myself. And that’s a big thing for me. It’s hard for me to handle that. Sometimes, that stress leaks out through my eyes.

Recently, a friend passed away. I wouldn’t call this person a super close friend, but slightly more than an acquaintance.

I failed this person on the biggest level I could ever have failed a person. And dealing with that has made this a tough…

Surgery update: I'm back! (Sort of)

Drugs are not always necessary. Belief in recovery always is. ~ Norman Cousins

So, today was my first day back at work. To say I was nervous would be an understatement.

Thankfully, it wasn't a terribly hard day for me.

It was a hard day in the world; blog on that coming soon.

For those who missed my post on my surgery: on Sept. 20, I had surgery to repair the umbilical hernia that had developed in my abdomen.

I first noticed something was wrong in late July or early August. I tried to put it off a bit, thinking maybe it was some kind of tummy ache. I knew it probably wasn't — I'm one of those terrible Google self-diagnosers. My husband and mom pestered me to get it checked out, and I felt really terrible, so I finally consented.

That in itself was problematic, since I haven't had a "primary physician" in probably 10 years. There's one or two I've gone to locally, but usually I avoid the doc as much as possible. Honestly, largely because I hate trying to fig…


I wrote this in multiple parts. Please forgive the discontinuity. 
I learned a long time ago that minor surgery is when they do the operation on someone else, not you. ~Bill Walton

So today I have surgery. In two hours, I'm to get up, scrub down with wipes after having showered only a few hours ago, put on another set of clean clothes, and go see a man about a hernia.
I'm not going to lie, I'm more than a little nervous. I've never had surgery, outsider of some really minor dental surgery in college. 
(Full confession, I dozed off while writing)
Now I'm up. Cleaned again. Just waiting. Waiting is the hardest part, people say.
All I can think is, did I scrub enough? Jim says you have to scrub really well to cut down on risk of infection.
For those of who were caught off-guard by today's surgery, so was I. When I started feeling poorly, I figured out pretty quick it was a hernia. So I made an appointment with a doc, she agreed and sent me on to a surgeon. There was abou…

A beautiful life

Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go. ~ Jamie Anderson

A beautiful life was extinguished today.

And while I know she’s in heaven, lending her voice to the angels and singing the praises of God, it’s still a little hard for us on Earth to stomach.

Bluntly, it sucks. It really sucks.

I don’t remember the first time I met Nannette. I was very young. I don’t remember her not being there, honestly. As my friend Krista said, she’s just “been a constant” figure in our lives. Like a member of our family.

Some people don’t really understand the relationship when I say that Nannette did my hair. She was my family’s beautician. But she was more than that.

For most of my life, she has been the woman who cut my hair. She’s walked alongside me through puberty, high school, college, …

A woman and her shoes

“Good shoes take you good places.” -Unknown
Shoes. There’s an oft-used joke that women like their shoes.
Some folks seem boggled by why, not realizing that shoes are the one things you’re not as likely to grow out of, compared to that favorite dress or top.
We’ve been in our house for a year and a half now. We still have some boxes to go through — time is not my friend, it seems. The other day, I was cleaning out one of the rooms that had defaulted to storage when I found one pair of heels and one pair of wedges.
They were shoes I once loved and hadn’t worn in several years. In fact, my dear husband had never seen me wear these shoes and we’ve been together more than five years. He’s never seen me wear any heels — I wore nice sandals to our wedding and then I went barefoot. I started to shove the shoes in the giveaway bag. You know the mantra: if you haven’t worn it in six months, get rid of it.
But I stopped. I couldn’t bring myself to part with these silly shoes I never wear.
It’s not th…

A life sold out

“For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” ~Philippians 1:21
As a christian, I’ve long heard stories of those willing to die for Christ. It’s always been something I’ve wondered — if a gun were held to my head, would I be willing to die for Him?

I like to think, yes, I would die for Christ. Just as any christian believes.

Sometimes, though, that seems to be the part we focus on the most: dying for Christ. Of course, what happens to us after we die is pretty crucial — it’s a big part of why to follow Christ. As christians, we want to ultimately end up in Heaven with Him, instead of Hell separated from Him for eternity. It’s not the where we go that matters, but who we will be there with — God.

But lately, I’ve been wondering if I’m missing the point in some way by asking this question. Maybe the question I don’t need to ask myself is whether or not I’m willing to die for Christ. Maybe the question should be, am I willing to live for Him?

It’s been on my mind a lot, with hearing t…

The quest for discernment

Discernment: 1. the quality of being able to grasp and comprehend what is obscure: skill in discerning; 2. an act of perceiving or discerning something.
My work leads me to meet a variety of people. That’s the part of it that I love, the meeting new people and sharing their stories. It’s sometimes the hardest part, being able to capture their personality, their presence and write about it in a way that gives others a glimpse into who they are.
One of the people I’ve met is an educator — a headmaster at a local private school. I’ve spoken with her many times in my four, almost five years. Conversations with her always inspire me in my faith.
She’s retiring soon and I sat down with her to do the standard outgoing interview that I always do. This was about a month ago, and she spoke about something that’s stuck with me ever since — discernment. For her, it was discernment in her job.
I suspect she applies God’s discernment in all aspects of her life, but we were talking abou…

Where do we find hope for the hopeless?

"Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday." ~John Wayne
The world is full of heartache. I see it everyday in my job, but it’s never more apparent than the days I cover court.
It’s full of families, waiting anxiously to hear what fate lies their loved ones. Mothers, praying for their children; fathers, knees bouncing in worried anticipation; wives and husbands, with concern in their eyes.
For those on the outside, facing the judge, most are humble, hoping they don’t lose their limited freedom, while most of those on the inside hope that this will be the day they gain theirs.
Some carry an air of attitude. I think that’s a front, so they don’t show their nerves, their fear, or their real selves. Some, it’s confidence because they know they managed to stay clean.
For some, their fear is because they know they haven’t.
The jud…