The heart of the prodigal

"So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him." ~Luke 15:20

I have to confess. I never really "got" the parable of the prodigal son growing up.

I was always a "good kid." Never one to step out of line, I felt I related more closely to the brother who stayed behind, the one who kept to his responsibilities and always did what was expected of him. I couldn't understand how the father in the story could be so celebratory about the kid who practically spat on the family, while he barely blinked at the one who stayed behind.

To me, the phrase "prodigal son" was more used to describe a son (or child, I suppose) who'd disappear to do what they wanted and was showered with affection when they returned. It was more a tongue-in-cheek phrase, I think. And that's how a lot of people use it -- we've all heard the phrase, I'm sure, and heard it used that way.

Simply searching on Google reveals the definition of prodigal. Showing we're all right, but maybe a little less sarcastically so. 

But I think there are some misunderstood aspects to this passage of Luke, which Google's definition reveals near the end, when it says "but makes a repentant return." I looked it up on dictionary.com and merriam-webster.com and neither use this phrase. Interesting what Google knows.

Let me first share the story of the prodigal son, which is in Luke 15:11-32 (In my NIV Bible, it's referred to as The Parable of the Lost Son) and is told by Jesus. In the passage, Jesus shares that there was a man with two sons. The younger of the two asks his father for his share of the estate, so that he may enjoy it while he is young. He then takes off for parts unknown, for some "wild living," according to the NIV. After he lost all of his money and his friends, the man finds work feeding a man's pigs, which I had heard described by pastors as one of the lowliest positions he could do. The passage says, "He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything," in verse 16.

That's pretty hungry, right?

Anyway, he comes to his senses and returns home to his father, in the hopes of working for him, not as a son, but as a hired hand. His father, seeing the young man, rushes out to meet him. He won't hear of the son not being restored, sends for a robe and a ring and demands that the fattest calf be killed for a feast. He throws a party for his son.

Meanwhile, his older son comes in and asks what's happening. When he finds out, he gets angry and refuses to participate, feeling the situation is unfair. The father tries to explain to him that he loves them both, but that his joy is because "this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found" in verse 32.

Now, a few nights ago, I couldn't sleep. I got up and began reading my Bible. That's when I came to this parable. As I had said, I've heard it a million and one times in my life, and always thought I understood it. A few years back, however, I realized that my understanding had begun to change. And that night, as I sat on the couch reading this passage, it dawned on me that I had really missed the mark my whole life.

I think there are two big things that I missed. Perhaps I'm not alone?

"'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours." ~Luke 15:31

I always kind of overlooked this part. I guess I was reading the parable and the father figure with the same approach as the brother who stayed behind -- that his lack of attention on the brother who stayed showed he favored that brother more.

But that's not it at all. As all parents know, you love your children equally. And this father, he also loves them equally, which is exactly what he's saying to the son. Just as God loves us all equally. But I also think the parable tells us that, just because God (or the father in this story) loves someone, doesn't mean He loves you (or the son) any less.

Just because God loves someone doesn't take away His love for you. No matter how you both got to Him, whether you spent 40 years in ministry or whether you were a "bad person" for most of your life. God loves you equally and His love for one is not at all lessened by loving another.

That's why we should always celebrate everyone's successes in God. And in life! I think we forget that. We get petty or jealous when we see someone doing "better" than we, as if it's a competition. But it's not. We all die someday and all that really matters in the end is where you're heading after you close your eyes.

It's refreshing to think you don't have to constantly compete with anyone, especially in this world where everything is a competition. You can be who God wants you to be and you can raise up your brothers and sisters in Christ as they are trying to be who God wants them to be. In the good and the bad.

Which is another flip of this coin -- stop trying to make your pain bigger than your neighbor's. It's not necessary. Just because they're struggling, too, doesn't make your struggle any less important. But we were made to share those struggles, because when we share with others and God, our loads become lighter.

In fact, we're commanded to help one another, even to use our special, God-given gifts to do so.

"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms." ~1 Peter 4:10

That brings us to another point in the passage that I feel I've personally misunderstood, in verse 22. As we learned in the earlier explanation, in verse 13 and 14, it shows the son "squandered his wealth in wild living." When he is left with nothing, it is then that the son has the realization that he could go home.

I've always thought of this as, the son came crawling home, expecting his daddy to take care of him, but if you look closely at the passage, well, I was wrong.

"I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men." ~ Luke 15:18-19

That man, compared to the one we first met, is not the same man. That's the heart of the matter -- the heart. He's humbled and realizes that he has nothing without his father, that he wronged his father and that he only wants to be near him. He's not asking for restoration, but simply forgiveness.

He's no longer a man that demands what he feels he's owed, but humbles himself enough to appreciate whatever his father would give him.

And that's what he does. But the father, like our Father, won't hear of it.

His older brother, however, misses the point. He may have been there all along, working alongside his father, but he wasn't working for the right reason. His heart wasn't in the right place. He still feels as though the father owes him something, in verses 29-30.

But none of us are owed anything. All we have has been given to us by God. That's my husband's favorite phrase when speaking of giving, "it wasn't mine to start with."

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." ~James 1:17

I just have to add, isn't it great that we have a God who loves us like the father in the story? He doesn't care where we've been or why we strayed so far. He just wants us to come back. And when we do, He celebrates. I once heard it described as a big party in heaven when someone comes to God (or comes back to God) and I think it will be awesome to witness someday.

And one of my favorite verses from this passage:

"'For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate." ~Luke 15:32