Finding joy

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.” Philippians 4:4-5

Some days, it seems like it only takes one little thing to go from “going perfectly” to “completely off the rails.”

Then, every little thing becomes a point of irritation, from slow drivers to waiting too long at the doctor's office.

In spite of it all, we're commanded to be joyful.

“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

But, man, sometimes it's hard.

Wednesday was one of those days.

It started off great, then I dumped the cat food in the kitchen, had to yell at the dog for eating the cat food in the floor, and ended up crying in the floor for yelling at the dog.

Then I had a doctor's appointment, for which I left the house late and we got a little lost getting to. Jim was in a mood, because he had a sore mouth (had to go to the dentist later in the week, possibly more on that in a later post), and, of course, I was in a mood over the cat food mess.
 

Wednesday was a tight day anyway, my appointment was at 11:30 in one town, we picked up my SD at noon in another town, and Jim had to drive someone at 1 p.m. in that same town. Plus, we only have one car.

Let's just say, by the time he got me to my doctor's office, I was mentally spent and likely crabby.

Oh! And I hadn't eaten yet, since I had to get blood work done.

It was a good storm of emotions!

After seeing the doctor, I went to get the blood drawn. My doctor warned that the phlebotomist would leave for lunch, so she wanted to get me over there quickly. The clerk put me in a room to wait, so I assumed we had made it.

By this time, Jim had dropped me, gone to get M and was on his way back. We both thought, ‘Eh, blood work is quick!’

Oy. The two ate lunch and waited in the car. I waited for someone. I got up and stood in the hallway. I hemmed and hawed. Then, at 12:45, after waiting for 45 minutes, I grabbed my bag ready to leave. We had things to do, I was starving, and I was just done.

That's when she walked up paper in hand. Apologetically, she explained she had gone to lunch. I sharply remarked that, had I known, I would have rescheduled. I burned with anger.

Then with guilt. She kept apologizing and I felt bad, so I tried to backpedal, telling her it wasn't her fault, etc.

But as I left her, my anger sparked once more. What took five minutes or less, as predicted, meant I was stranded for longer. I had told Jim to leave for his 1 p.m. appointment.

So I sat down, huffed, ate a cereal bar and drank water that I had brought “just in case,” and tried to make the clerk who put me in the room aware of my displeasure.

Then God nudged me.

The lock screen on my phone says, “He has filled me with joy.” I had gotten the image in an email from attending the Women of Joy conference earlier in the year. It showed up last week and, after a few tweaks, I made it the lock screen.

I saw it. But I was still angry. Internally, I said, “but, Lord, I don't want to be joyful. I want to be grumpy.”

“Choose joy,” He nudges me. “Let it go.”

And I proceeded to grumble and whine and complain and make excuses for why i should be allowed to wallow in my anger and frustration.

And He listened, then nudged me again. “Choose joy.”

This went on for a while. What can I say, I'm stubborn!

When Jim stopped to drop his rider, he messaged to let me know they were coming. So I stepped outside to wait. My anger had mostly subsided, but still I thought, “I'll make sure they see me standing here!”

And God nudged me again.

“Choose joy. Let it go.”
 
I'm sure I'm not the only one who has these bouts of frustration with the world and discussion with God. Eventually, we have to admit He's right. Holding on to that anger and frustration does no one any good. It just makes me bitter, angry and frustrated.

And when I give that to God, I feel better. I can find joy in life.

I can find joy in God.

True joy is of God and it shouldn't be hampered by those irritations of life. True joy can't be stolen when bad happens, but we can allow it to be lessened when we focus on those. It can't be stolen, it can be given up.
 
What if, instead, we focus on God? That's true joy.

True joy is the kind of joy Paul and Silas had, described in Acts 16.

“About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them.” Acts 16:25

Can you imagine what those other prisoners were thinking? See, Paul and Silas had been stripped, beaten and thrown in jail, all because they helped a girl who was possessed by a spirit. In jail, they were fastened into stocks. And yet, they sang and prayed.

An earthquake struck the jail, unfastening all the prisoners, but none ran. In verse 27, the jailer is about to kill himself when Paul stops him.

“But Paul shouted, ‘Don’t harm yourself! We’re all here!’” Acts 16:28

In that moment, Paul could have let this man who locked him in the stocks kill himself. Then they’d have been able to escape. And, it'd be a sort of revenge on the man who made his stay there worse.

But he didn’t.

And so, the man and his whole family were saved.

“Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all the others in his house … he was filled with joy because he had come to believe in God -- he and his whole family.” Acts 16:32, 34.

Now, I’m sure your daily frustration isn’t quite so dramatic, but still, you get the picture. Who is someone you believe has wronged you? It could be something simple, like my anger at a clerk, or it could be something much deeper, like the jailer.

Either way, it does you no good to hold on. Don't be like me.

What could God do through you to impact that person you believed has wronged you? Wouldn’t that be awesome, be used in such a big way?

That doesn't mean you have to simply forget when people do things that frustrate you like that. There are sometimes lessons to be learned. I learned I should ask next time it's close to lunch or make sure my appointment doesn't fall too close to it. I'm not likely to forget that lesson.

But I don't need to hold onto it, like some crazy list of people who make me mad. What good would it do? I guarantee she never gave it a second thought. Why should I?

Why do we think it will make us somehow feel better to hold those grudges?

It's certainly not of God and it's not the reality. It doesn’t make you feel better, but simply bitter.

So I challenge you. Choose joy.