Growing from criticism

Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfils the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things. ~Winston Churchill

Last week, I was referred to as selfish.

I think that was the first time that I can truly remember someone telling me that to my face. And it stung.

Perhaps I was being selfish, perhaps I wasn't, but that's the way he perceived it. And as I have learned many times over the past four years in my journalism and communication classes, it doesn't really matter what message you are sending in the world of media. What matters is the audience reception of it.

Not to mention, he was a prospective employer. Meaning that he was correct in his judgement. I may not agree with his assessment of me, but I'll admit that he was justified in making it. I even see how he could have taken my actions as being selfish.

The irony is, I wasn't trying to be selfish. I was trying to think of a way to not be selfish and to help him. I just failed to include him in this plan.

It doesn't work if you fail to let them in on the secret.

Truthfully, the problem really was me. I drug my feet, as the saying goes. The question that now has to be asked is "why?"

Why is the future such a scary thing? Why does it frighten me so much? It doesn't have special powers. It doesn't have control of me. It doesn't even have an opinion, a mind or any form. It's not even really a thing. It's this vague word that could really mean anything. Like rainbows.

So how does it have such power? Where did it get the powers to freak people out so much? Why do we worry so much about the future?

For me, I've always had the one-day-at-a-time approach. That's probably why the future scares me so much. There's a lot of planning to do months in advance and regarding more than just one day. Or even one month. It affects my entire life.

I don't like being such a chicken about the future. I don't like constantly thinking or whining about it. I don't like that this constant thinking and whining about the future is what turned me into a chicken and therefore caused me to be so selfish.

In a way, I suppose I should thank this man. That is, if he were speaking to me.

The future isn't some scary dark hole that people disappear into never to be heard from again.

It's time to realize that. And embrace it. The future always comes, never exactly as planned, but it always comes.

I just hope mine has some rainbows.