Lessons from a pest
You ready?
Are you sure?
A mouse.
I'm being driven batty by a mouse.
"...But Mousie, thou art no thy lane,In proving foresight may be vain:The best-laid schemes o’ mice an menGang aft agley,An lea’e us nought but grief an pain,For promis’d joy!..."
I covered my basics. I found the openings inside, filled all those cracks and crevices it could be utilizing. I thought it was staying in the walls and scratching in the attic.
But then I found something else: evidence. Nothing major, but one chewed box that had been empty.
It was a spot I hadn't considered. A spot I had managed to forget and overlook. An area that I thought wasn't something to be worried about because "I had it under control."
Clearly I didn't.
Now maybe this is a deep life lesson because of a mouse. And, honestly, I'm still on the hunt for this critter. But stay with me here.
How often in life do we think we've covered all our bases only to find out we've missed one?
Beyond that, how often do we think we have an area under control, only to find that's really where the problem began? That the problem has been building for some time, but we were comfortable with how that area was and still thought we "had it under control" so it was simply left alone?
Maybe God is teaching me something in this mouse hunt of mine. Goodness knows we've been having a lot of slightly crazed and very desperate (on my side) prayer time lately.
It's become my own little corner of shame. Maybe it's a sign of more than I wanted to admit over the years.
"But I have it under control."
Because that's where I found an empty box waiting to take to recycling had been chewed on. Ick, I know. I kept saying "I've not seen evidence of the mouse out in the house. I've just heard it in the walls."
Except now I have. Clear evidence. Pretty sure that box wasn't chewed through by my cat.
I guess it's a good thing we got some (humane) traps today. We're going to try those.
But it's also a clear sign that I have to quit hiding that shame corner away. I have to empty it. I have to bring that stuff into the light.
You know, they say mice don't like light either. Nor do most of things that make you go ick, whether we're talking literal or metaphorical here.
Light is what purges the darkness. Sure, without the darkness there could be no light and vice versa. But it's the thing that drives the darkness back.
Because we weren't meant to hold on to the things that bring us shame in life. We are meant to take those things and grow.
And I think it's clear, I need to let more things go.
Then it snowballs. And before you realize it, you have a box of shame, a corner of shame, a room of shame, and a house you are worried to let people into.
Clearly I didn't.
Now maybe this is a deep life lesson because of a mouse. And, honestly, I'm still on the hunt for this critter. But stay with me here.
How often in life do we think we've covered all our bases only to find out we've missed one?
Beyond that, how often do we think we have an area under control, only to find that's really where the problem began? That the problem has been building for some time, but we were comfortable with how that area was and still thought we "had it under control" so it was simply left alone?
Maybe God is teaching me something in this mouse hunt of mine. Goodness knows we've been having a lot of slightly crazed and very desperate (on my side) prayer time lately.
Maybe it's about how the control was never mine to have? I'm not sure. I am still learning, after all.
I wrote in a previous post about how I was attempting to purge things in my life. I've been working through my old clothes and things.
Let's be honest here. There's a whole lot more "things" I need to rid myself of that I haven't even been willing to admit to myself yet, much less share for the world at large.
But more than that, more than just purging, to really determine what has to be gotten rid of, we have to first bring it to the light. For it's in the light that we can see the value.
I wrote in a previous post about how I was attempting to purge things in my life. I've been working through my old clothes and things.
Let's be honest here. There's a whole lot more "things" I need to rid myself of that I haven't even been willing to admit to myself yet, much less share for the world at large.
But more than that, more than just purging, to really determine what has to be gotten rid of, we have to first bring it to the light. For it's in the light that we can see the value.
So here goes, back to my literal situation. I'm going to shed some real light on the problem.
Anyone who has been in my house knows I have boxes stacked in a corner of my kitchen. It's more than a little embarrassing, to be honest, and a big part of why I don't have a lot of people over. I have it fairly hidden, covered by a curtain, shoved in a corner, tucked away so it's not obvious at first glance. A lot of it is stuff that needs to be recycled. Some of it is just old papers that need tossed or shredded. And there are partially filled boxes of actual useable items.
But I haven't laid eyes on so many of those things because of all the other things. I simply get overwhelmed at trying to deal with it, so I just push it a little further in the corner and ignore it. It continues to grow.
Anyone who has been in my house knows I have boxes stacked in a corner of my kitchen. It's more than a little embarrassing, to be honest, and a big part of why I don't have a lot of people over. I have it fairly hidden, covered by a curtain, shoved in a corner, tucked away so it's not obvious at first glance. A lot of it is stuff that needs to be recycled. Some of it is just old papers that need tossed or shredded. And there are partially filled boxes of actual useable items.
But I haven't laid eyes on so many of those things because of all the other things. I simply get overwhelmed at trying to deal with it, so I just push it a little further in the corner and ignore it. It continues to grow.
It's become my own little corner of shame. Maybe it's a sign of more than I wanted to admit over the years.
"But I have it under control."
Clearly not.
Because that's where I found an empty box waiting to take to recycling had been chewed on. Ick, I know. I kept saying "I've not seen evidence of the mouse out in the house. I've just heard it in the walls."
 |
| Said cat during cuddles. She's not yet found the critter, for which I'm grateful. |
I guess it's a good thing we got some (humane) traps today. We're going to try those.
But it's also a clear sign that I have to quit hiding that shame corner away. I have to empty it. I have to bring that stuff into the light.
You know, they say mice don't like light either. Nor do most of things that make you go ick, whether we're talking literal or metaphorical here.
Light is what purges the darkness. Sure, without the darkness there could be no light and vice versa. But it's the thing that drives the darkness back.
Beyond that, bringing those shameful things into the light is what takes the power away. It's uncomfortable to face up to shame. But we must.
“I had a chance to lay it all out on the table, and I didn't. But that's the problem with shame. Shame doesn't like company. Shame's not something that likes to be shared.” ~Meghan Quinn, Co-Wrecker
In doing so, we realize it's not that bad. Sometimes we realize we need help to move past it. Most often, we realize it's time to lay that down and let it go.
Because we weren't meant to hold on to the things that bring us shame in life. We are meant to take those things and grow.
And I think it's clear, I need to let more things go.
I might need a little help. Accepting that help is hard though. I think I will definitely need help securing up the house to keep any more of the pesky critters from coming in.
And in the metaphorical sense, I think I need help from my friends, my prayer partners, and my therapist to quit letting this shame take root.
There's no place for that in life. Mess does not equate a moral failing. But letting the mess take control equates giving something a position of power it was never meant to have.
"Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It's the fear that we're not good enough." ~Brene Brown
There are more than a few "things" I hold onto. Things I find I am unwilling to bring into the light. Struggles such as staying on my finances and, clearly, my housekeeping/maintaining my house. As a widow, especially, these things become a lot very quickly.
A life you might be worried to let people into.
And sure, there are people in the world who will hold that against you. The internet is full of those folks. I guess I should count myself lucky that I don't have enough followers to ever worry about ugly comments on here.
But, I've learned, by and large people don't want that for you. They want you to share with them. They want to help.
My therapist tells me that people like to help me, I just have to let them. That can be hard. Letting people in can be a dreadfully scary process.
"The more real and genuine we are about ourselves, the more others will know that there is no shame in struggling, or feeling low, or anxious or having bad days - we all have them." ~Sanam Saeed
But these things I hide away? They aren't moral failings and should not cause shame. They are room for growth.
So what shame are you holding onto? What's the metaphorical little pest (or literal, if you're like me) that's bringing your shame out?
Share with me. I want to help you, I promise! (I'm not just saying that because my therapist does!)
Perhaps if we bring it into the light together, you can see it's not as powerful as you thought. It's not the moral failing your mind has made it out to be. Or it was never yours to hold to begin with.
And keep me honest. My new goal is to get those boxes out of my house, too! I promise, anything with critter signs is going in the garbage. Shame-free and guilt-free.
Hopefully, I can also succeed in driving this mouse out of my house. Even if I don't know where it's at, God does, right? After all, Hebrews 4:13 says, "nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight."
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