What an update

"Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" Matthew 6:27

Well, it's been months since I posted. I'm terribly sorry about that, but with everything that was happening, it was time to step back and just let the moments happen. Forgive me.

But now I feel it's time to update again. It's selfish I guess. Writing, in this context at least, is a way to let my worries go and my mind babble.

Tomorrow is the day that determines my husband's future as much as any of his surgeries have. Not to be overly dramatic or emotional or any of that. But it's the truth. Tomorrow, he goes to have a Functional Capacity Evaluation. At least I think that's the name of it. It's basically a way to test whether or not Jim can complete his on-the-job duties.

How that goes will determine if he will be cleared to finally return to work, seek new work or not be allowed to work at all.

For those who have missed the details, it started two years ago. My husband had been working in-home health care with mentally and physically disabled individuals when one of the men took a swing at him. Jim was on one knee at the time and ducked, causing him to crack his knee into the hardwood floor and setting about a two-year battle.

That was in 2014. He underwent doctors' visits, therapy, surgery and more therapy. In February of last year, he had a second surgery, and started another round of therapy. It was the first week of therapy that my love developed blood clots and ended up going into the hospital for four days. That was a rough weekend — my grandmother had also died that week and was being laid out while my then-fiancé was laid up in the hospital. The whole weekend, he just kept apologizing for not being able to go with me; if I'd any doubts of my love for him, that cinched it. He was more concerned about me being alone than himself.

Fast forward, through more therapy. He's developed tendonitis, struggled to get his muscles to respond the right ways, fought more pain than I could ever imagine, and still, he's trying. He allows me to dote; I think he likes it more than he lets on.

For my husband, the social butterfly of the two, being stuck at home, unable to work, unable to do a lot ... this has been a very frustrating two years. But he didn't stop living. We were able to get married. We bought a house. That was even frustrating for him, because he couldn't contribute as he'd like, because of the way his worker's comp pay was being interpreted by the mortgage brokers.

And here we are, on the eve of this test. And I ask for your prayers. Prayers that he can make it through tomorrow without completely killing his knee and without such utter pain that he won't be able to make it into the house when we get home. I'm not being dramatic; that's very possible.

I covet your prayers of peace for him, for no matter what happens, he will finally be able to move beyond this part of life that has seemed so stagnant. I do worry about the outcome, but I know that's silly. I can't control the outcome and God reminds us to turn our fears, our worries, our prayers over to Him. He is the great Physician. No matter what happens, He has it in his hands.

"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."               ~ Matthew 6:34

But, my head knows it and still I'm nervous. He hasn't spoken of it much, but I imagine he is too. Tomorrow, my dears, will determine the future.

I guess every tomorrow is that way, but this one certainly seems more official. I'm not sure how long after that it will be before we hear from the doctors or worker's comp after that.

Anyway, just remember us today and in the morning as we head north. Neither of us is feeling incredibly well this week, anyway, with the weather and the colds that keep trying to take us out.

I look forward to the day when we can move past it, but I suspect it will always be there, lingering. I'm sure his knee pain isn't going to go away tomorrow.

I guess that's how problems are. Not to be too spiritual, but it's certainly that way when the devil decides to take a whack at you. When he finds something that works once, although you may seek God and ultimately prevail, he will always been there with it, lurking just out of sight, waiting to bring it back at you.

But we'll get through it. We'll lean in and readjust our focus on God.

Anyway, thanks for reading friends. If you have some time tomorrow, send us your prayers and good thoughts. Prayers for patience, comfort and peace.

Until next time.