To be a bridesmaid

Rare as is true love, true friendship is rarer. 

-Jean de la Fontaine

When thinking of bridesmaids, there's often an almost negative image that pops in my head, likely placed there by the horrors of movies and TV shows.

It's of haggard-looking weary women who are ready to snap from the bride's demands. Or frumpy women who loathe the outfit of choice.

I had some movie posters here, but
the links broke. :/ Instead, I'll put in
an honorary bridesmaid ;) - my girl,
Luna-bug.

There’s a slew of negative images out there regarding bridesmaids.

At the same time, I know there are many positives. It’s really up to the ladies and the bride as to how it turns out.

In the two weddings I’ve been bridesmaids in — my best friend’s wedding and my brother’s wedding — there weren’t issues with the brides. As far as I know, there weren’t any major ones between the brides and the bridesmaids — maybe a hefty discussion about what they were wearing or something.

It’s tricky. It’s a tricky balance to plan a wedding. There’s a lot of people to take into consideration, despite it being about the bride and groom. You still have to make certain consenting decisions, just to make sure that the special day can remain the way you want.

I don’t want to be bridezilla, but I’m such the passive planner, I think it’s driving my family and
friends crazy. :) 

It took a bit to arrive at the skirts we are having made for the bridesmaids. First, there was getting rid of fancy dresses — an EASY task on my part. There’s been a ton of Google searching, which led me quite accidentally to a skirt I really liked. It became the concept for the skirt the ladies will be wearing.

So, on Sunday, a rare free moment presented itself and I decided to go fabric shopping. I dragged my maid of honor (matron, I guess, since she’s married) and my fiancé with me. She had her baby, so Jim was responsible for distracting handsome little Declan.

It took us three hours and two stores to find the perfect fabric for the ladies to wear. I’m actually surprised at how easy it was.

The fabric that will one day be skirts!

A quick mass text and everyone had approved the choice — it was a go! 

Bridesmaid fabric? DONE. 

— Sidebar, that reminds me of the voice on the YouVersion Bible App for kids. In the book of Genesis, it’s broken by days, as the verses are. At the end of each day, the voice goes, “Day one - Done,” accordingly. —

But a bridesmaid is more than what she wears. And honestly, as I’ve said all along, I don’t really care what they wear as long as they are there.

Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.

-Unknown

That’s the key in picking out bridesmaids. Beyond that, that’s the been the key for Jim and I in picking out attendees. It’s not a number so much, although we both want it very VERY very small, it’s having those in our inner ring.

No bridezillas here!

You know what I mean — friendship and relationships are kind of like a tiered system. Not in level of importance, necessarily, but in level of closeness and trust.

There’s the out rings. Former classmates, that person you’ve known forever but don’t really talk to anymore. They matter in the span of life, but they probably won’t be heartbroken to not attend. There’s those you see on a regular basis — coworkers, church friends, etc. I would almost argue this includes distant family, too. Again, they matter, but they aren’t privy to those private details of your life. They might be a little upset over at first, but they will soon get over it.

Then there’s those who start to take it personally. Closer family, closer friends. This is the level that’s toughest, at least in events like a wedding, because there’s a fine line of not hurting them/including them and keeping your numbers where you want. These people are the ones that can easily tip the scale.

Then there’s the inner ring. For the most part, that’s where we are keeping it. These are the definite ones — those people you have to share those moments with. And inside that is your bridesmaids. At least for me.

Making that decision was a tough one too, because there’s one or two ladies who I feel almost should be. Maybe I’ll make them stand up there, too, I don’t know.

Anyway, before I get teary-eyed, I better quit.